ARE YOU THERE TAMPAX, IT'S ME HELLWAGON

     If you really stop and think about it, being called a fat whore should be considered a compliment.  If you are a big ol' fat whore, that means you have overcome your obvious physical deficiencies and managed to have multiple sexual partners in a short period of time.  Seriously, I imagine it's really fucking easy to be a fat virgin.  It comes with the territory.  Especially for dudes.  If cops were picking up virgins by profiling, they would be pulling over fat sweaty white dudes with Transformers stickers on their cars all day long.  So really, dudes can never be fat whores because no one wants to fuck them.
     So ladies, the next time someone calls you a fat whore, just smile and say thanks.     
     If you haven't realized it by now, you are certainly in the wrong goddamn place if you are sensitive and easily offended and your breath smells like your grandma's ballbag.
     I don't go around calling people fat whores, I am not some kind of monster.  I don't call people anything.  I try to avoid conversing with people as much as possible.  Of course, given the horribly stupid things that I think to talk about who in their right mind would want to have a conversation with someone who thinks being called a fat whore is a compliment.  Certainly not any fat whores.
     No one ever says what they are truly thinking, that is why we spend our entire lives talking to ourselves.  It's the only place where we can be honest about everything without the judgment of society.  Who we are in the world and who we are in our heads will always be two different things.  People will say horrible things about you just to make themselves feel better than you, you just can't give a shit.  If you are reading this, and you happen to be a fat whore, are you really going to let me bother you.  If you do, then you are so weak. 
     You are what you are.  You just have to fucking own it.
     I have been insulted more than your mother the fat necked slut.  You name it, I've heard it.  Who gives a shit.  If you let what other people say fuck with your self-esteem, then you are truly fucking stupid.  The operative word in self-esteem is self. 
     Jesus Hillbilly Christ when did this turn into an afterschool special.  I feel like that fat mustachioed cunt Dr. Phil trying to convince some haggard brokedown dentist hating slag whore that her life is worth living.  Man, I think I made myself want to kill myself just now.  I hurt myself with emotions.  All I wanted to figure out is if fat whore was a compliment and then it turns into this tampax commercial type journey with feelings and insight and me telling people to just 'be yourself' like I'm their white jeans wearing gay mom.  This whole ordeal has give me that not so fresh feeling.
     No wonder people used to call me fag.  Well, those people now spend their evenings sniffing their mom's crusty dildo. 
     I am a forty year old man trying to justify calling someone a fat whore and I find that to be awesome.  What else am I going to do, feed poor people and save the environment and recycle and cure shitty diseases? 
     I have no choice but to bear the burden of my indifference.
    
Hellwagon.