The prevalence of stupidity is more widespread than ever before in the history of the human race. The technological advances made by others enable idiots to feel some semblance of intelligence. The stupid have phones, they push buttons and the phone performs feats they could never dream of doing. Like addition for example, or locating a restaurant.
Through the machinations of the internet and the ongoing international cellphone gangbang, the stupid are now connected to every dumbass they can find. They can "like" what other idiots are saying, nodding in befuddled agreement. The shared ignorance gives the conformist morons a sense of togetherness, budding self righteousness and the confidence of a mob. The ability to virtually assemble validates their thoughts and feelings.
The hordes no longer feel so incessantly stupid because they have the company of like minded fools. I can't understand it, but apparently if more than one person believes something dumb it ceases to be so fucking dumb. Thinking like someone else is not an accomplishment.
Again.
Thinking like someone else is not an accomplishment. It should not make you feel better. You should not be so fucking proud to believe what your favorite movie stars believe or what your stupid fuckhole family believes and all of the nonsense your fuckin' cumshittin' friends believe. You will never know anything of originality.
There is no rebellion.
There might be one person.
A person possessed by an idea, a truly singular idea that can change the world.
The moment that idea is shared, it will be around the world and back in a split second and the human race will have torn it apart.
Misery isn't the only one who hates to be lonely. Stupid loves a fucking party, stupid just loves to tear the fucking world apart.
I am so glad that we have spent the last few decades making sure everyone feels special and important, that what they think is valid and their emotions matter. Now everyone can feel significant, now everyone can feel they are right.
I know, I know, you are under the impression that your life is valid, that your stupid life matters. There is no possible way that you are pointless and useless and that your entire life is a god awful waste of fucking time. According to the lifestyle dream that currently permeates our societal values, 99% of us are complete fucking losers, so we spend our lives watching portrayals of other lives.
So, do you really think you are so goddamn special, so important to others. Why should I give a fuck? Why should anybody? Is it the pictures you take and force other people to admire? Is it the pathetic facebook posts you compose? You are the main character in your life story, we all get it and we are all so completely fucking impressed. Everyone in the world is a goddamn star and I am just in the background making noise.
I watch you fucking people. What you do in your entire life is irrelevant, we all just got together and decided to pretend that all this bullshit counts. Allow me to disagree. I could give a shit about your job, your money, your things, your posts and photos or whatever the fuck ever. You can go ahead and count the tangible objects if you want, but they really don't count. You know what counts....
Are you memorable? Are people more impressed by what you own than what you are? Most people cannot outshine inanimate objects. And if you own nothing, well the world will just tear you apart for that as well. It's what you have versus what you don't. How many men are left in the fucking world? Jesus Christ, I have never seen more grown up children fighting over toys in my life. What are you fucking made of, you stupid sack of eventual dust and dirty disintigrating shit?
Are you making the people in your life happy? How much do you laugh?
If you aren't enjoying this life, laughing your way through it and taking the others you care about with you, then what is the fucking point. Stuff. Cram your possessions up your ass, who fucking cares. If possessions are the only thing that please you then you need to take the following advice....
1. Love. Love the hell out of the people you love. You need to really let them fucking know it all the time until you sound like you are being an asshole about it. They need to know that you love them like no one else in the history of the fucking universe ever loved any fucking person. You don't do that by buying them shit. It's in your actions, they remember how you acted out of love, not the fucking flowers you bought because you thought you had to like a stupid cliched fucking turdball. Love.
2. Fuck. That one person you love, you need to fuck them, fuck them like all get out, all crazy and shit. Nothing beats a jolly good fucking, and you can do that almost anywhere. You can fuck like mad donkeys on a pile of ruddy dirt in the woods and it feels better than buying anything you can dream of. I don't know of any car, that when I drive it, I will somehow feel better than I do during a raging cumshot. Oh yeah, pushing that gas pedal feels so much better than cumming. Find it! Find the possession that feels better than an orgasm. Orgasm beats fucking everything.
Hell, there isn't a possession that feels better than giving someone else an orgasm. That is how great they are.
3. Get fucked up. There aren't many great stories that start with, "So, there I was with my Mother at the library, just having some saltines and a glass of tap water...". A great story usually starts with a set up about how fucked up you were. "So, there I was with my Mother at the sewage treatment plant, just having some cocaine and a glass of whiskey...", you want to know where that shit is going. Two words - Cocaine Fueled Turd Fight.
You don't make bad decisions when you are fucked up. You just ignore your conscience and the consequences of your actions. A large portion of your life should be spent that way.
4. Get in a fight with anyone about anything. It doesn't have to be physical, but it helps. Just get your adrenaline going, who cares if you get the shit beat out of you. It happens. It should happen.
Of course, now you can't get into a fight without some bitch ass motherfucker calling the police or pulling a weapon and ruining the whole thing. Slug it out, get it over with, have a goddamn shot and a beer and move the fuck on. Stop ignoring the fact that we are all animals fighting over shit and embrace it and be a fucking animal.
5. Watch a dog drag it's anus across a carpet. Simply because there is no finer moment in existence than witnessing this spectacle and we need to laugh. If you aren't laughing at the world, you are missing hte point. That dog draggin' ass, it doesn't care what anyone thinks, it's "hello carpet, meet my wormy asshole, and I don't care who sees it." You can have the opera and the ballet, dogs draggin' ass is true poetry in motion.
The reactions of people are usually the same. Disgust or laughter. Those are the two most common responses to a dog scratching its butthole on your finely vacuumed and perfumed carpet. If you are disgusted by it, you are a pointless failure and do not deserve the life you have.
We are here to love each other, fuck each other, destroy ourselves and have as many laughs as we can until it's over.
Stop being such self important assholes and go have a good time. Don't take a fucking picture of it.
Remember it.
Hellwagon.
